By Kamukama Isaac
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| when she no longer respects you |
The memories still linger fresh in your mind of the times you came to university to pick admission forms; with your then girlfriend, walking hand-in-hand. You still recall her manky outfit, scraggly hair and dusty feet laden with horrifying cracks at the heel. She had the rural attitude written all over her face. She had an unmatched excitement. You nibbled boiled maize for lunch and boarded the taxi back together. You lived a modest life, but felt you had something of value between the two of you: love!
Three semesters into your university stay, you realize your sweetheart is changing. You feel indignant and compromised. The spark of the love you shared died out months back. She gives you all sorts of excuses regarding her new nature; from academic stress to family problems. All this while, convincing you she will change. You patiently hoped she would change till your patience sloughed thin. She eventually discloses to you the truth after you coax her. The love you shared was no more—a tale of old.
Traditionally, the males hunted and disposed off when they pleased. Now it’s different. They have also become vulnerable victims as far as matters of the heart are concerned.
At the turn of the last century, women have assumed different positions in the social, economic and political world. This has not only come along with the money or status, but with the power to hook and dump men.
What makes it sad is the fact that most ‘good’ men won't see this coming because they are too infatuated to notice the little blemishing signs early. They stick to these torrid relationships and only relinquish if they are attacked with rabid confrontations.
You don't have to be a seer to decipher what looms ahead of you; these signs will help that do indicate. They are much simpler to notice than the biblical signs that will mark the coming of the Son of Man. Below are a jot of the signs to base upon when she no longer considers you her cup of tea.
Physical detachment:
Everyone loves to be close to the things they love. It is an indelible law of physical attraction. If she doesn't value your presence and doesn't cherish the time you spend together, you will know that she is slowly slipping out or your clenched fist. She doesn't want you anymore. She will give you all sorts of excuses not to have your physical figure near hers. Her once frequent visits to your room will dwindle and she will not want you at her place either. When you see this, you just have to give up and concentrate on your books!
Excuse of not making out.
For some reason, I think talking about this tramples upon my religious virtues. Doesn't this translate into fornication given the fact that most of the students are not married? Anyway, back to the worldly perspective. If your girlfriend all of a sudden resents making out without proper reason, start to ponder elsewhere or you will be left counting your losses when it’s too late.
Girls know that men love the act of lovemaking; capable of sacrificing their money and time just for a few minutes of intimacy. If she denies you that, she has as well denied you everything and considers you discern that your relationship has hit the foot—its time to move on dude.
Apparition of Mr. X
Even the most committed wife will have a man she adores and crushes on other than her husband. This is normal and should present no hitches in a normal relationship. But perpetual torrents of praise to another guy are a total turn-off. At least if the guy is some international personality who can't stoop so low for your girlfriend, you can stomach that. But what if the guy is her course mate, hostel mate? Telling you about his generosity, convection looks and James Bond charm and style. It’s an indication that her heart is seeing someone else. Likewise, her body will follow suit.
Spontaneous change in her style
Females are very sensitive to even the minutest changes that occur in style than their supposedly male partners. Her style is changing and so is the intensity of emotions between you. The difference is that her taste of style is increasing whereas the love between you is plummeting! This is exhibited by the fact that they waste colossal periods of their time looking at themselves in the mirror. Isn't it natural anyway?
If she had the kiruhura mentality when she set foot at the hill; having a monotonous hairstyle, possessing a decrepit Chinese phone and hobbled instead of walking; yet in just a few months into her university life, she speaks with a feigned Miriam Kiwanuka dialect, walks like a Naomi Campbell protégé, adorns outlandish attire and posses a style that would make her a suitable candidate for a reality celebrity show, you have to brace yourself for a jilted experience later on.
Sudden loss of appetite
We guys will always pretend that Eve’s daughters have a shallow appetite (just pretend). But this is exacerbated when there feelings for you wane. The days when genuine love existed, she didn’t make a fuss on being ushered into a sordid kafunda in kikumi kikumi or when she had meals in your room, she left your plate sparkling because she couldn't do away with the licking. Those are the days!
Currently, she gets a nauseating experience once she drips any broth on her tongue at yours. Her meager appetite is only reserved for chicken, fries, ice-cream and the weekend fried fish at the beach. This is an implied way that she wants you out of her life.
Spontaneous change in her appearance
Now don't get me wrong. I don't want to resurrect the Judith Babirye-Niwo incident where the latter barred the former from enhancing her looks, sometimes it’s just wrong timing. A woman who was synonymous with possessing an ashen skin, dandruff filled hair, cracked feet and lips would out rightly send emotions of skepticism in the heart of her beau. A young woman trying to enhance her appearance is not bad at all if it’s gradual. But if it just occurs to first for the guy to conjecture, even her close friends and acquaintances, it would prove to be the beginning of the end. She could be trying to ‘polish’ herself up so she can get a variety guys in her client base! Watch out!
Busy
This is one the most used excuse by girls. They are naturally weak species; they can hardly stand up and tell you the truth with the pretext of ‘not wanting to hurt the poor guy’s feelings’. She will make herself as busy as possible including her phone. She won’t receive your calls and she will go an extra mile by blacklisting your phone number.
Sometimes you may be lucky and you through, but as soon as she hangs up, she will rebuke you among her friends. Calling you glue of some sort.
The signs are numerous, I would have used and I would have been happy to go on if it’s not for the perfunctory spirit that has embodied upon me. But as I said earlier, you don't have to be a seer to notice this.
If you do, waste no time anymore; get the heck out of that relationship.
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